Busy Memorial Weekend

We had a busy Memorial weekend. On Saturday we went to IKEA to get a few things for Lily's room. Of course with me being on bed rest, an outing was exactly what I wanted. To go, I had to agree to ride in a wheelchair, but since I can't walk or stand up for very long, I didn't fight it.I was just happy to be out of the house. Below is a picture of how we got around while in IKEA. Don't worry we weren't there for very long, we only got what we needed. Its not pretty, but it worked. :-)



On Sunday my husband finished building a swing for Lily and I. Last year we built an arbor in our backyard and this year we decided to add a swing to it. Just in time for Lily and I to enjoy it! I can't wait. I am very proud of my husband. I'm so happy he likes building things. I've always wanted my own swing.



Then lastly, on Monday we decided to build out Lily's closet to make room for all her clothes. She doesn't have the biggest closet but we tried to make the most of it by building it with shelves and drawers. I think it turned out perfect!



It was a productive weekend that's for sure. But I'm not sure how many more weekends like this my husband can take. He's been a good sport about doing all these things because he knows Lily will be here soon, but I still feel bad that I can't help him more. Maybe this weekend he'll get to relax for a change. After all it is his birthday. :-)

My work friends threw me a baby shower

Today I got to go to a shower my work put together for me. I was really looking forward to seeing everyone. It was a bit overwhelming but I enjoyed it so much. Its so nice to see how loved I am by the people I've worked with for over 7 1/2 years. I felt beautiful at the shower.



A speical thank you to Michele, Carmen and Maria for putting the shower together for me. We had an amazing time. Thank you everyone who came out to see me!!!

Our car was packed to the top as you can see below. I think Lily has more clothes then I do at this point. Is it bad that I'm jealous? :-)

8 months Pregnant Today!!!

A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, the bankroll smaller, a home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for.

Congratulations Baby Lily, we did it!
We're on the home stretch little one.
I love you.

32 weeks Doctor Visit - I graduated!

Today I had two doctor's appointments like normal. I met first with my high risk doctor. I was excited to be going to see him. We haven't seen baby Lily in an ultrasound in a month and during these visits we get to see her and also check on the status of my cervix.

Everything went normal and my cervix was magically measuring 2.8 cm again. Remember anything over 2.5 is considered safe and normal for me. Since we had a scare in the hospital a few weeks back I made sure I was strict on bed rest to make sure this visit went well. With that said, after all the images were captured of my cervix and baby Lily, I was told I had graduated!!! I was so happy. This means that I won't be going back to the high risk doctor because in a few short weeks (maybe 3 to 4) my stitches will be removed and baby Lily will hopefully be born soon after. Its an amazing accomplishment for us all, I'm so glad we made it this far.

It was cool to see bits and pieces of Lily in the ultrasound pictures, we couldn't see her all at once because she is getting to big to fit into one shot. She weighs a little under 4 pounds and is in the 50th percentile, exactly where you want her to be. We are really pleased.

My parents came up to be with us for these appointments. It was very nice to share this time with them. My husband is so proud of me. I am so proud of him. I couldn't of done it without his help. He is such a great support for me.

After all the good news, we went to our next appointment with my OB. She was pleased to hear I had graduated and told me I was looking really good. The baby's heartbeat is healthy and my blood pressure is still nice and low. All is going so good. I'm so pleased. Bed rest has really made all the difference for baby Lily. We spoke with my OB on taking out my stitches. She is going to be the one to remove them and I couldn't be happier. I really hope she will be able to deliver me. At 36 or 37 weeks she is going to remove the stitches in the hospital and watch me for a few hours to see if I start labor or not. If not they will send me home to let nature take its course naturally.

Its amazing to think that in a few short weeks I could be delivering my beautiful bundle of joy!!

The Ups and Downs of Bed Rest

Well today I'm not having a good day. I'm not sure what it is exactly. It could have something to do with the fact that as of today I've been on bed rest for 69 days, or it could simply be I'm pregnant and my emotions are all over the place. Whatever it is, its not fun, not today at least.

The pain I was having last Friday has gone away, it only lasted a few days and if I stayed on my side I wouldn't feel it at all. The doctor thinks it could be because Lily is sunny side up. I hope that changes before delivery time. I'm sure it will, we still have some time to go.

But back to today, it started out like a normal day. I got up early, its been a trend lately, kissed my husband good bye and off to watching "Good Morning America" I went. But I noticed by around 11:00 am, I wasn't myself. I felt unproductive and a bit overwhelmed. I feel like I've been home in bed for so long that I need to get up and get organized. That's what I do best, and being on bed rest doesn't allow me to do that. I want to clean, I want to go shopping, I just want to do anything but be in bed another day.

I know it sounds selfish but some days are like this, most are not. Most of the time I'm content and happy with being at home in my bedroom, safe and sound. But today wasn't that day. I did my best to make the most of it. I tried to take a nap, that didn't work. I watched some TV, that kinda got old and I cried after watching every baby story there was, not normal... Eventually I gave in and called my husband at work. He let me vent it out and he cheered me up. Maybe all I needed was someone to talk to. After I got off the phone I decided I was done pouting and I got involved in scrap booking all of Lily's ultrasound pictures. By the time my husband came home from work, I seemed a lot better.

I know the end is near and I don't ever want to look back at this pregnancy as if it was a burden. I wanted to be pregnant and I want to have a healthy baby so I know I just have to roll with the punches. I'm 31 weeks now, so I have maybe nine weeks left. My stitches will be taken out in five weeks and who knows how soon after will Lily be born. I can do this, I know I can. I just have to realize I am doing all I can right now, I am doing my job.

I am growing a Lily.

Reality Check - its still a high risk pregnancy

I woke up this morning feeling like I had a tummy ache. That's the only way I could explain it. It was a feeling I hadn't felt before. My lower abdomen ached from left to right. If I laid on my back the ache would increase and be somewhat painful. I wasn't having any stomach problems. I was just having some unexplained pain in my lower abdomen.

My husband had called around lunch time to see if I wanted him to come home to make me lunch. I didn't want him to come home because I felt bad for him to leave work, but after we talked about what I was feeling we thought it would be best if he came home. He came home and we ate lunch together. The pain was still around but it kinda came and went. I rested after lunch for a bit to see if it would pass. It didn't.

We decided it would be a good idea if I called the doctor. I called and they thought it would be wise for me to go to the hospital. There was a chance I was having contractions and there might be something wrong with my cerclage. We didn't think twice, we were off. We called our parents to let them know what was going on.

When we got to the hospital they took my vitals and then hooked me up to the baby monitor machine, to watch the baby's heart beat and to see if I was having any contractions. I was nervous about my cerclage. They monitored me for about an hour, minor contractions and the baby's heart beat was just fine. They had a doctor from my OB practice on call at the hospital, she was aware of my situation should something happen. They decided to have a high risk doctor come and check my cerclage. That wasn't fun but you have to do what you have to do. The cerclage looked fine, the stitch was still holding perfectly. They did an internal ultrasound and told me my cervix was measuring 2.18cm, which is shorter. That was upsetting to hear. The high risk doctor wasn't concerned, he said everything looked fine. They gave me an IV with fluids and also gave me some drugs to relax my uterus. They discharged me about an hour later. They told me to relax and take it easy for the next few days. If the pain comes back, that I should call my doctor or come back to the hospital. I think we were there about five hours total.

When we left, I got upset. I was upset to hear my cervix had shortened but very much relieve that my cerclage and the baby were doing fine. This pregnancy has been so unpredictable. The little bit of freedom I had, I decided wasn't worth it. No one is telling me to go back on strict bed rest, but I am putting myself back on strict bed rest. I want Lily to have the best fighting chance she can have at life. I know in the end its worth it.

When we got home, I passed out. The drugs they gave me to relax my uterus, relaxed me... And that's putting it mildly. We got home around 6:30-7:00pm and I was knocked out until the next morning. Those were some good drugs...

30 weeks (7.5 months) Doctor's Visit

Today I have my follow up doctor's visit to get all of my blood work and gestational diabetes test results. I am visiting my OB today so I won't be having an ultrasound done. She will just measure my belly size, take all my vitals and ask me if I'm having any contractions or issues.

My results from the diabetes tests came back and I don't have gestational diabetes which is nice to know. I didn't think I would because I try to live a very healthy lifestyle but I know sometimes it just happens to pregnant women no matter how healthy you live. My blood work was fine except I am showing a little low on my iron levels, meaning I might be slightly anemic. She told me I should take an iron supplement for the remainder of the pregnancy. She gave me some samples and a prescription for more if needed.

I haven't had any contractions or any other issues. She said I looked great and my weight gain was right on track. It was a good visit. I will see her again in two weeks along with seeing my high risk doctor on the same day.

Celebrating "Mommy To Be" Mother's Day

Today is Mother's Day and for me, even though I am over 7 months pregnant I don't feel like I can "officially" celebrate mothers day. I know I became a mother the moment I got pregnant but I don't think I'll actually feel like a mother until I get to see and hold Lily.

My husband surprised me this morning with a Calla Lily plant for my bedroom and made me breakfast in bed. He also gave me two cute pregnancy shirts. One that says "Love my Buddha Belly" and the other one says "Geek Incubator". I think they are both adorable and I can't wait to wear them.

Unfortunately my husband had to go into work today so I'm home alone. I can't be mad at him because I know how bad he feels about having to go into work and honestly, because I don't feel like a mother yet, I'm not really bummed about it. I know next year Lily will be with me and I'll be able to do something wonderful. I can't wait!!

Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful mothers.

Our 5 year wedding anniversary - Lily's first beach trip

Today is our 5 year wedding anniversary and I'm super excited!!! We decided that since I'm on bed rest with a little freedom, that we would take a little trip to the place we got engaged, Cocoa Beach.

We woke up super early to go watch the sunrise. It was a nice ride over in the car, hardly any traffic and the fresh air smelled wonderful. We set up a blanket to lay on but I was so excited to be at the beach that I couldn't lay down. It dawned on me while there that Lily had never been to the beach so I had to show her a few things. I walked around pointing things out to her it was very cute. We brought our camera and took some amazing pictures. We went to breakfast afterwards at the same place we went to breakfast five years earlier after our engagement. It was a wonderful Anniversary celebration.

7 months and diabetes testing, oh my!

I'm officially 7 months pregnant!! I'm so happy to be able to write that. I feel strong and I am staying positive that I'll be able to bring Lily to full term. So proud of myself! :)

At my 28 week check up my doctor told me I'd be having some blood work done. Its almost the same types of tests they screen you for in the beginning of your pregnancy, including a glucose test to screen for gestational diabetes. Every pregnant women has to get screened for this. I've heard of some horror stories, mostly about women getting sick from drinking so much sugar all at once. I wasn't looking forward to the testing at all. I'm not a big fan of very sweet things.

When we got to my appointment, they gave me this orange bottle and told me I had to drink the whole thing in five minutes, the nurse had to watch me drink it down. It really wasn't that bad, if you have a choice pick the orange bottle. It tasted like the Hi-C orange drink you get from McDonald's, but just a little sweeter. I really didn't have a hard time drinking it and it was a little smaller then a normal size water bottle. After I drank it, the nurses moved me to an empty room. I had to wait an hour, and since I've been on bed rest they had me lay down for my hour. Other people can go run an errand and come back. But for me I needed to lay down and stay put.

After the hour wait, they took my blood. I wasn't feeling sick at all from the drink and I was much relieved. I did bring a water bottle with me, but was told I couldn't eat or drink anything during that hour wait. After my blood work the doctor came by and checked me out. She measured my baby bump and made sure all my vitals were doing good. She told me it would be about a week before I would get the results. She told me that baby Lily was doing wonderful and that she was so relieved to see me happy and healthy at 28 weeks.

Since we were staying at the hotel for the weekend, we picked up some lunch and headed back to the hotel. I felt good about the doctors visit and had positive thoughts that my glucose results would be just fine. Only time will tell...

A weekend retreat for me!!!!

Every two years my husbands' "whole" company gathers somewhere to spend four days in training. For this year the company decided to pick Orlando to have this gathering. Lucky for me, we didn't have to go very far and I was able to join my husband at the resort. Since I had just been released to be upright for two hours a day I was excited about going.

The first night, the company had an "icebreaker" for everyone including family members to meet and mingle. I decided I would attempt to go. I was really nervous. I only lasted about twenty minutes. It was sad. When I got to the banquet room, they had no chairs anywhere, it was buffets and high top tables. I got some food and walked around mingling but was too nervous someone was going to knock into me or that I wouldn't be able to walk back to the hotel room. So I decided I needed to go back to the room sooner then I had hoped. A lot of my husbands' coworkers were really surprised to see me, everyone was asking me questions. It was nice, but I got overwhelmed very quickly. Once I was back in the hotel room I was so much more secure. It was at that point, that I realized being on bed rest for two months had really taken a toll on my strength an endurance.

The next day, Friday, I had a doctors appointment. My husband went to his meetings in the morning and I relaxed in the hotel room. At lunch time we left for my appointment. More about my appointment in my next blog entry. Once my appointment was over we went back to the hotel. My husband had afternoon classes he had to attend. I rested in the hotel room, I was perfectly happy there. It was a nice change of scenery.

On Saturday, I remained in the hotel room relaxing. I had some visitors, a few other women at my husbands company are pregnant as well, so they came by on Saturday to see me. It was nice to compare notes and talk. Saturday night was the formal awards banquet. I was saving all my energy to be able to go to this. We got dressed up, I figured I would stay for dinner and then head back to the room. I wasn't going to be able to stay for the whole thing, but it was nice to sit with others at a table and mingle. I was so nervous about being outside and around others that I almost cried twice during dinner. It was just so overwhelming for me. I was so scared I was going to get run into or that I would trip and fall. Its very strange to feel this way because I am a very confident person, but because of everything I've gone through with this pregnancy, I wasn't about to let someone else take it away from me. I'm very protective on Lily.



Sunday, we checked out and went home. The four day retreat was wonderful for me. I didn't mind staying in the hotel room at all. I enjoyed being able to go to a few functions and was surprised that I couldn't last that long standing, but I know in time I will get my strength back.

A little freedom

Today I had another visit with my high risk doctor. I go every two weeks. I was very nervous about the appointment, I actually cried once we got there. I think I just get nervous that I might hear bad news, and its upsetting to think maybe I didn't do enough every week for Lily. Must be the hormones and the fact that this wasn't the way I had hoped my pregnancy would go. Nonetheless, the appointment went very well.

My cervix was measuring 2.9 cm, and with fundal pressure it was still measuring 2.9 cm. Being that the cervix did not funnel or shorten with the fundal pressure means that I'm in the best possible situation. I was very much relieved. The doctor told me at this point that since my cervix was doing so well that I could be upright for at least two hours a day. He told me that this would help with all the pinched nerves and headaches I'd been having from laying down so much.

With that said, I must tell everyone it was nice to hear the news, but its been two months of laying down. I'm not about to jump up and throw all of this time and effort out the door. I decided that "if" there was something that I "had" to do I would use that towards my two hours, but I wouldn't take advantage of the new freedom. It will be nice to maybe go for an hour a night and finish my baby registry in person versus doing everything online, but that's if I can even stand for an hour. I doubt I'm going to be able to last that long at first. I will probably have to build up to it. Its crazy how laying down for two months can really make you so very weak.

I'm also very nervous about being in the public. I know it might sound strange but when I do get to ride in a car, I feel like the world is going by so fast around me. I can't imagine what its going to be like to stand up and walk around a store with people possibly coming at me from all angles. I'm so protective of Lily and this has been such an overwhelming situation that I won't take this for granted, its not worth me losing my child.

To end this on a high note. I am happy to be attending a company function with my husband this upcoming weekend. This will allow me to stay at a resort (from one bed to another) and enjoy the possibility of room service and free movies! Now that's a freedom I can handle, and I'm looking forward to it. :-)

No more headaches, but now my hands and arms ache...

I am posting this a week behind, but only for good reason. From Saturday April 17 - Friday April 23, I've had pain in my hands and arms to the point I couldn't type or do much of anything with my hands.

I woke up Saturday morning with an ache in my left arm that slowly increased to being so painful that by Sunday I went to the hospital. I wasn't able to bare weight or even move my left arm much at all. It was terrible. I was very concerned that it might be a blood clot or something drastic. When we got to the hospital they didn't have much to say for the reason of the pain. They sent me for X-rays just in case but the X-rays came back with nothing. By the time we left the hospital (9 hours later) all they told me was that it was probably caused from the bed rest and that I might have a pinched nerve. They gave my hubby instructions on how to massage my shoulder and arm to help relieve the pain. They also gave me some muscle relaxers to take and a stronger pain killer.

The next few days were a blur. The sad part was the pain moved from my left arm to my right arm as well. So by Wednesday I had no ability to do anything by myself. I could not use my arms or hands. It was so sad and I was so dependent on others, which didn't make me very happy. Thankfully I had a wonderful friend come by a few days and help me. She even massaged my shoulders and arms for me and it was starting to help relieve the pain. I have such a hard time depending on others, but I had no choose, I couldn't do anything for myself. Both of my arms by this point, were in arm braces to help relieve the movement of my arms, which helped with the pain. I was a site to behold, for sure. :-)

By Friday the pain was only in my right arm. No real reason for how I got in this position or what the cause was, but I suspect its from being on such strict bed rest. I never thought things like this could happen from just laying in bed. But after almost two months on bed rest I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I get winded from just taking a shower these days. Whoever thought bed rest was easy has another thing coming. Here I was six and a half months pregnant, on strict bed rest, and I couldn't use my arms. I was ready to toss in the towel. It had me concerned that if I couldn't handle this, how would I ever make it through labor and delivery....

Well thankfully, that week is behind me and my arms are back to normal, but for a few days I didn't have any hope in mind. I was starting to get really depressed and overwhelmed. I didn't imagine my pregnancy every turning out to be the way it is now. I firmly believe everything happens for a reason, but was this really necessary. Did I really deserve to have no use of my arms? Seriously... what did that week get me? Your guess is as good as mine.

Elvis has left the building....

Its been five weeks that my mom has been able to come up during the weeks and help me. Today will be her last day here for a while. I will miss her as she was so very helpful. Most of all it was just nice being able to spend so much time together. We've been through a lot together but at the end of the day, she's here for me and I cherish that about her.

The next couple of weeks should be fun and adventurous for me. I'm going to be calling on all of my friends to come visit me, and help break up my day. I do have few things to look forward to. I am going to be staying at a nice hotel in town with my hubby for four days (perks: bed rest with room service and free movies) as he has a company conference he has to attend. Then the following week is our 5 year wedding anniversary and we might plan a peaceful outing for me. Nothing fancy but even a car ride to go lay on a blanket in the park would be nice. My husband has been so strong through all of this. He is the glue that holds me together and he is the best support system I could ever have.

Before you know it, it will be the middle of May and maybe I'll be able to finish putting the final details on my baby shower. (That's if I get to have one) Otherwise its back to planning for Lily's arrival. Bed rest hasn't been that bad. I have my ups and downs but I'm staying positive and pushing through it. Its very nice to have so much support from my family and friends. Keep it coming. :-)

Cross Stitch - Who knew it was so much fun!

So to occupy my time, my mom and I decided cross stitch might be a fun and easy project to work on while on bed rest. When I was born my Auntie Donna made me a cross stitch for my baby room. It had my name, birth date, and birth weight on it. My mom had saved it for me over the years and I plan to hang it in Lily's room. This is a picture of it.



So today my mom and I didn't have much going on, so my mom bought me a cross stitch I could make for Lily. Once she showed me what to do I became addicted! It was fun and instantly rewarding.

The cross stitch I am making has baby feet on it and a little teddy bear. Lily's name, birth date, and birth weight will be added to it after she is born. Its been a fun project and maybe it will become a family tradition for Lily to make for her children. Here is a picture of mine, but its not complete yet.

26th Week Doctor Appointments

Its been five weeks on bed rest. For the most part its been okay. It had a rocky start but with the support of my friends and family members it has been a positive experience. Today I have follow up appointments with both, my OB and my high risk doctor. My headaches have subsided, thank goodness. No real reason for getting them other then maybe stress from being in bed all day, or the added hormones and blood flow. Regardless, I am thankful they are gone.

My first appointment was with my OB. She's been my OB for four years now and she's wonderful. She said my pregnancy is going wonderful and that the baby is in the 53rd percentile, (I hear that's a good thing, but I didn't really understand that statement). My weight gain is exactly where it should be. That made me REALLY happy. One of my biggest fears with being on bed rest. was gaining too much weight. But thankfully I have been very mindful of what I eat and it is working in my favor. YEAH! She also added that they might want to start me on steroids, but that I would need to ask my high risk doctor what he thought. That had me a little concerned. The reason for the steroids was to help the baby develop her lungs quicker just in case I go into labor sooner then 36 weeks. I wasn't happy to hear about the steroids but I will do what is best for Lily regardless. After that we were done. So I slowly crawled into the back seat of the car and laid down for the ride to my next doctors appointment, with the high risk doctor.

At the high risk doctors appointment, they did an ultrasound to measure the length of my cervix. My cervix was measuring 3.0cm, that was the best news ever!!! Bed rest is working and we are so happy! We got to see a few pictures of Lily and she was just as cute as ever. She's slowly getting bigger and bigger each week we see her. Its so exciting each time. I did ask the high risk doctor about the steroids and he said, that since my cervix is doing so well he doesn't foresee why I would need to be put on steroids. He feels that I will be able to carry this baby to full term. Such a relief!

So at this time I will go to each doctor every two weeks. He did say that there might be a "slight" possibility that at 32 weeks he would allow me to have a more modified best rest, which could allow me to have an hour or two a day where I could run an errand or sit up. I'm not going to get my hopes up but that was surely nice to hear. I'm hoping to be able to have a baby shower before Lily arrives and I wasn't sure how I'd do that if I had to be laying down. The other big news was that both doctors felt that at 36 weeks I'd have my stitches removed and they figured I would deliver shortly after that. Which means I might have Lily earlier then July 23, which was her original due date.

After my doctors visits, I went home and relaxed as it was a big outing for me and a very happy one. As much as I would have liked to go home and celebrate I know I can't celebrate just yet. Lily and I still have about two months to go and I have to continue to be strict on myself to make sure we make it to 36 weeks.

Easter Sunday - 25 Weeks

For Easter Sunday, my parents were up visiting and it was a very nice day. My family decided because it was so nice outside that maybe it would be a good day for me to lay outside and get some sunshine. I feel like I'm getting so pale from not going outside and I miss my Florida tan. My father in law is now darker then me and that's not fair :-) (We tease each other all the time)

So around 3:00 pm, everyone helped me outside and I got to lay in the sun for about 20 minutes. It was so nice to feel the sun on my face and smell the fresh air. It helped me realize that even though I might be sacrificing some day to day activities, it makes me appreciate the freedoms I used to have and the joys of whats to come.

The neighbors were having friends and family members over for an Easter celebration so it was nice to see everyone out and about. Some of my neighbors have seen my mother out getting the mail, and they often ask her how I'm doing. It was nice for them to see me in person. I'm hoping in the future that I'll be able to go sit outside again.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter.

I made it to 24 weeks (6 months)

On Thursday April 1, 2010 I had my second follow up visit with the high risk doctor. We made it to 24 weeks (6 months) and I am now seeing the high risk doctor every two weeks. Its been officially three weeks on strict bed rest. I've been feeling wonderful but I have had some difficult days. I recently discovered that because of the way I have to lay, I've been straining my neck which has resulted in headaches... They aren't fun.

When I went to my follow up appointment we asked the doctor if I would be allowed to get a massage, to help with the aches and pains of laying in bed all the time. The doctor said it was allowed. So lucky for me I have a friend who is willing to come to my house to give me a massage when I need one. I hope to get one, starting next week.

The visit with the doctor went very well. If you recall, my cervix at surgery was measuring 0.9cm, at my one week follow up it was 1.9cm, today at my visit it was at 2.4cm, with fundal pressure. Fundal pressure is the pressure the baby would put on my cervix if I were standing or sitting. They measure this when doing the internal ultrasound by pushing down on my lower abdomen to see how my cervix responds to pressure. Without that pressure my cervix was measuring 2.8cm. We were so relieved. The doctor was very happy. Bed rest is working and my cervix is relaxing, which is just wonderful!!!

They took a few pictures of baby Lily so I thought I would share them with everyone. One is of her profile and she's smiling. The other one is of her looking straight at us. Enjoy!

My new life day to day.

Well its been a little over two weeks now and I have to say its been a mix of emotions and adventures. I write this blog today to explain to some what its been like for me. I'm not writing this for sympathy, I'm just writing to tell you, what my day to day life is like now.

On Mondays I'm normally alone, but I do have a friend who visits to break up my day which is wonderful. My husband takes care of everything else that I need before he goes to work. And then when he gets home he makes sure I am all set at night. From Tuesdays-Thursdays, my mom travels up two hours to stay with me. She has been helping me get organized and makes sure my house keeping (laundry, cleaning and any errands) are taken care of. I don't require this of her, but she insists on helping us and she does an amazing job. I'm hoping in time this doesn't become a burden on her. Then on Fridays, some of my other friends stop by at lunch time to break up my day. Weekends and nights are left to my husband who works a full time job and is doing all that he can. With every one's help I feel like my life is as normal, as normal can be right now.

I miss cooking, cleaning and just having the freedom to get up and move around. I have set up camp upstairs in our master bedroom. I don't go downstairs or leave my bedroom unless I have a doctors appointment. Which lately has been once every two weeks. My husband makes dinner when he gets home, and brings it upstairs to me and we eat on a little table we have setup in our room. The only views I have of the outside world is from the windows of my bedroom and the Internet.

Since I'm almost 6 months pregnant now I really can't lay on my back for much longer then 5 minutes. So most of my time is laying on my sides. The doctor still won't let me sit up, so the only time I'm upright is when I get up to use the restroom or when I get up to eat. I limit my time sitting while eating to five minutes. I try to eat as healthy as I can because gaining weight is a concern for women while on bed rest.

I'm not much of a TV watcher so I try to find other things to do. I have plenty of magazines to look through and I go online once or twice a day. I'm still getting myself organized as far as bills and such go. But for the most part it isn't that bad. I have my moments of sadness and I think its only normal to feel that way. I try not to think of what could happen to baby Lily because I feel we will get through this, but sometimes I can't help but worry.

I tell others not to worry about me, I am strong and in the end I know it will work itself out. I do wish for once, I could get a break. I feel like my life medically has always been a struggle, and I always feel like I have to work for everything I have. I think that is what breaks my heart the most. I know everything happens for a reason and I would never change anything that has happened to me....But just once, I wish I could catch a break.

I know many people have harder things to have to go through in their lives and I don't want anyone to think I don't realize that. Good things happen to good people and I know in my heart I am a good person. Things could be worse so I am saying here and now, I am totally thankful for the situation I am going through.

Its been a week...

So its Thursday March 18th, I went to my first follow up visit today with the high risk doctor. They checked my blood pressure like normal, and lucky for me I have low blood pressure. They then proceeded to do an internal ultraound and check my cervix. I was very nervous about this being done because I was afraid it might hurt or I might have some cramping afterwards. Thankfully I had neither. The nurse couldn't tell us if what she was looking at was good or bad, so we just patiently waited for her to be done.

Next the nurse did a regular ultrasound on top of my belly to check the status of the baby. And of course baby Lily was as cute as a button. She was a bit curled up, but we could see a nice side profile of her. She is just so cute. She wasn't very active this morning but it might be because I had eaten before we arrived. I wasn't worried. She too needs her rest... The nurse took a few pictures of her profile and also a few pictures of the baby's body. Once done she told us the doctor would be in shortly to review everything.

The doctor came in and looked at the pictures of my cervix first and told us that in one week my cervix had doubled in length!!! We were so relieved. On the day of my surgery, my cervix was 0.9cm, today my cervix was 1.8cm. The news was exactly what we were hoping to hear. The doctor told us that he didn't think it would get any longer than that, but with that extra length, I have a better chance of keeping Lily in place for a longer period of time. Which is exactly why I was put on bed rest in the first place.

The doctor then looked at the pictures of the baby and said she looks wonderful. He then told us to continue with the strict bed rest and that he would want to see me back in his office in two weeks. We shook hands and he left.

When my husband and I left the room, I noticed my husband had become a bit emotional. I hugged my husband and he told me, he was just so relieved to hear the news. We hugged and packed me up in the car to head home.

I know its only been a week but hearing the news of what the doctor said, it made me feel even more determined to stay focused about being on bed rest. It won't be an easy job, but its going to be one that will have a huge reward at the end.