A little freedom

Today I had another visit with my high risk doctor. I go every two weeks. I was very nervous about the appointment, I actually cried once we got there. I think I just get nervous that I might hear bad news, and its upsetting to think maybe I didn't do enough every week for Lily. Must be the hormones and the fact that this wasn't the way I had hoped my pregnancy would go. Nonetheless, the appointment went very well.

My cervix was measuring 2.9 cm, and with fundal pressure it was still measuring 2.9 cm. Being that the cervix did not funnel or shorten with the fundal pressure means that I'm in the best possible situation. I was very much relieved. The doctor told me at this point that since my cervix was doing so well that I could be upright for at least two hours a day. He told me that this would help with all the pinched nerves and headaches I'd been having from laying down so much.

With that said, I must tell everyone it was nice to hear the news, but its been two months of laying down. I'm not about to jump up and throw all of this time and effort out the door. I decided that "if" there was something that I "had" to do I would use that towards my two hours, but I wouldn't take advantage of the new freedom. It will be nice to maybe go for an hour a night and finish my baby registry in person versus doing everything online, but that's if I can even stand for an hour. I doubt I'm going to be able to last that long at first. I will probably have to build up to it. Its crazy how laying down for two months can really make you so very weak.

I'm also very nervous about being in the public. I know it might sound strange but when I do get to ride in a car, I feel like the world is going by so fast around me. I can't imagine what its going to be like to stand up and walk around a store with people possibly coming at me from all angles. I'm so protective of Lily and this has been such an overwhelming situation that I won't take this for granted, its not worth me losing my child.

To end this on a high note. I am happy to be attending a company function with my husband this upcoming weekend. This will allow me to stay at a resort (from one bed to another) and enjoy the possibility of room service and free movies! Now that's a freedom I can handle, and I'm looking forward to it. :-)